The Vancouver Alley Kitten

2007-02-10T03:34:00.000-08:00

Operation Meow: Complete Results

1. Lyle V. (project B) 35 minutes
2. Nick B. 36
3. Morgan - (Project B) 35.33
4. Ifny -37.3
5. Cara Fisher (MC3) - 38.21
6. Nick Cee - 39
7. James - 44.11
8. Gabe (ZooBomb) - 48
9. Kelly - 49.42
10. Haley - 50
11. Camilo - 56.21
12. Alex - 56.33
13. Joshua - 56.42
14. Agent Danger (Sprockettes) - 56.50
15. Agent Bunny G. (sprockettes) - 57
16. Hyuma - 57.25
17. Cedric - 57.35
18. Shawn - 57.45
19. Tori - 57. 46
20. Chris C. - 1:11
21. Tom (ZooBomb) - 1:24

2007-02-05T13:13:00.000-08:00

OPERATION: M.E.O.W. Official Results:

-1st Place: Lyle. at 35 minutes - riding Project B. Mini Chopper
-2nd Place: Nick B., 36 minutes - riding modded kuahara
-3rd Place: Morgan, 36.5 minutes - riding Gravity Tryke.

-1st Out Of Town: Gabriel (aka Captain Fun/ Warchild) on his mean pink machine
-Purple Heart to Haley for worst wipeout
-Project B Beer Prime (15pk of Pilsner) for winner of the first stage: Lyle

Thanks to everyone who got excited about this race - To all of you who went out and got/ fixed up/ built minibikes for this race, to our amazing volunteers who got fully into character and added extra pain to all of the checkpoints, and to everyone who came to watch/ expressed interest. Y'all made this happen. We had 29 racers, a full half dozen from out of town. We'll do this again you can bet your pants on that.

In the meantime, here are a few links you might find interesting:
First round of pictures from the race: Here
More photos from Chris B Here
And from Nick Cee Here
Lyle (the race winner)'s race recap: Here
Team Portland's photo report: Here

More updates to follow.

2007-02-01T18:17:00.001-08:00

Two more days...

2007-01-30T14:01:00.000-08:00

January 16, 2007

ALLRIGHT MAGGOTS!

Race day is less than a week away, and Drill Sgt.s KTJ and Midnightsimon have been hard at work putting together a gruelling course that you little runts are LUCKY to have the PRIVILEDGE of racing. Should any of you manage to mewl your way through our training, YOU WILL EARN the right to hold your head high and walk as one of THE FEW, THE PROUD, THE MINI BIKE ARMY.

You will be expected conduct classified espionage missions. Be ready.
You will compete not just for the glory of first prize, and the honour of being bessed dressed, but also for six packs provided as a SPECIAL PRIZE for the winner of a stage of this race, provided by our allies at PROJECT B

There will be an international contingent coming from portland to throw down in this competition, so bring your A-game, kittens - Canada's reputation is on the line. PDX took second place last race, and they're no doubt hungry for the dead-sexy TROPHY and CASH PRIZE being offered in this race. Lets look alive soldiers. They're bringing a film crew with them, this is your time to earn eternal glory.

Victory Sqare. Saturday February 3rd. 17:30 hours.

2007-01-16T14:14:00.000-08:00

Operation: M.E.O.W. Orders.

January 16, 2007

MBA:MMBR

From: Command Council, Mini Bike Army - Vancouver Regiment
To: All riders, Mini Bike Army; All Riders, Vancouver Bike Movement.
VIA: Operation C.O.s KTJ & midnightsimon

1. You are hereby ordered to report to Victory Square park, (Cambie & Hastings) for participation in classified maneuvers of 'Alley Kitten' nature, from this point to be designated as OPERATION: M.E.O.W. Riders are ordered to report at 17:30 Hours for race registration; Operation begins at 18:30 hours, sharp.

2. (a) You will bring with you a minibike with wheelsize no larger than 18" (avg.). (b) You will decorate your bike &/or your person should you wish to participate in optional/volunteer component of OPERATION: M.E.O.W. entitled "best dressed competition." (c) You will bring with you a $5 registration fee.

3. Upon completion of OPERATION M.E.O.W., you will proceed to Bikes Inside, indoor bike party of insanity.

Find attached photographic dossier with recconnaisance information detailing events doccumented by agent Oker at previous Alley Kitten events.
P-2SK --- K370
RR2270:339K12

CLICK HERE FOR RECCONAISANCE INFORMATION

2006-09-19T17:21:00.000-07:00

Gearing up...
Final preparations are underway to bring you the greatest little bike race EVER.

As it stands the race will involve 5 stations with pickups/ dropoffs, and 3 different (yet equidistent) manifests/routes. Be ready to perform rediculous tasks.

Prize Update!!!
First and Foremost, we graciously thank Bikes on the Drive for donating labour and parts to get three minis on the road as loaners for the race. Moreover, they have also agreed to provide racers and volunteers with cards valid for 15% off labour and 20% off parts and accessories for the entire month of October. This is a huge contribution, and we salute you for helping to support and promote bike culture in vancouver!

Now, on to the competitive prizes...
First Place: The Solid Gold Alley Kitten Trophy! Now, as if that's not enough, Bikes on the Drive has kicked in some wicked Panaracer Pasala 700C tires - just what you need to keep it on the road this winter. First prize also takes a fifty dollar gift certificate from Mighty Riders!

Second place rider walks with a forty dollar gift certificate from Our Community Bikes and a kickass custom designed print t-shirt from Nate and Aiana

Third Place captures a Reload phone holder from Dreamcyle and some sweet bike toys from Ride On. Third place also takes a Tshirt and subscription from Momentum Magazine.

Best Dressed Bike - For the fashionista's and craftmasters out there, the best dressed bike will recieve one hell of a gold medal, as well as some sexy pant straps from Tall Pol, and bike toys from Ride On.

Best Mini Tricks - Mini tricks will be judged by a panel of judges. You'll get two shots at pulling off your trick/routine. Prizes will be alcoholic in nature, plus the winner will take home a subscription to Momentum Magazine and the coveted Alley Kitten Best Mini Trick Medallion!

Thats it for now kids - check back for more updates soon!

2006-09-13T15:48:00.000-07:00

Prizes on the Horizon!
Well, we all know you are competing for the right to raise the mighty Kitten Cup over your head (come on- the thing is solid gold(-ish) ). But we know you like other prizes too, so we've been out pounding the pavement to collect good stuff for you. So far, the goods are rolling in to reward you, our fearless road warriors - including:

- Subscritptions & t-shirts from momentum magazine (That's a portal to the latest and greatest goings on in Vancouver for all of you out of towners)
- Chrome swag from Dreamcycle
- Hot crafts from seamripper Georgie and the Bike Doctor Tall Pol

& there's lots more on the way. So keep trainin' kids!

Some thoughts on the 'kitten

Costumes are encouraged in this race. While eternal glory and fame will naturally fall to the winner of this madcap challenge, we're not just here to race. We're here to show vancouver how (A) insane, yet awesome we are, and (B) how square they are. Post apocalyptic warriors, princesses, caped crusaders, body painted hooligans - we want to see you jammin' it on your two tiny wheels out there in the heart of this city's business and entertainment district. Lets show them a vision of this city with spontenaity, absurdity, and fun at the centre, not crappy mass-produced bear sculptures and tokenistic-native art/olympic-'world class'/green glass/tourist-gloss-better-than-the-real-thing 2010 Vancouver.

Looking for First Aiders - while I hope that you all want to win this race, I'm also hoping you don't want to win it bad enough to get yourself all messed up. On the off chance that mishaps DO happen, we want qualified people on the ground to clean you up - People with first aid backgrounds, we want your help - and we'll reward you hansomely with libations (after the race, naturally). Contact midnightsimon))at((gmail.com if you want to lend us your skills
Volunteers in General! We want you too! Volunteering is a good opportunity for those of you who want to be a part of the race, but don't feel like competing, and for those of you who want front row seats (what better way than to be a part of the action?!). This is your big chance to make fun of oddly dressed people riding on bikes two sizes too small. Help us out and have fun at the same time!

Thats it for now, but check back for more updates! Race day is just over a week away!

2006-09-06T14:40:00.000-07:00

2006-08-29T01:00:00.000-07:00

What do you get when you cross the fastest, toughest, most skill testing bicycle messenger race format with two tiny wheels and a general lust for absurdity, insanity, and the incomprehensible?

An evening you won't soon forget.

The Mini Bike Army's finest scientists have taken the well renown Alley Cat, and using the latest advances in gene splicing technology have shrunken this fierce tiger of a bike race into pygmy form.

Vancouver, we give you the first international Alley Kitten challenge. Fitting snugly into the Vancouver Velomutation bikelove weekend, Friday, September 22nd, beg, borrow, or steal yourself a mini bike and come throw down (or at least show up!) in the oddest race you may ever participate in!

The route is set!

The tasks to completed along your route determined!

Prizes for:
-First, second, and third place finishers
-Best Dressed bike (so you fashion cats, get your craft on and sexy up that mini!)
-Tricks!

All that remains is for us to build up a small army of volunteers and an arsenal of rad prizes for you kids (in the works - good shwag for sure!), and for us all to get the word out!

Again, that's Friday September 22nd Race registration is at 6 pm; race starts at 7 pm sharp!. Race registration and starting location is 666 Burrard street, in front of the fountains (conveniently located across Burrard st. from the Burrard skytrain station.)

But wait, you ask - I want to race, but I haven't got a mini bike - what do I do?

Never fear! Minis are easy to get a hold of!

The salvation army (12th ave location, between Kingsway and Main st. is a particular gold mine) and similar second hand shops are a great resource where you can pick up your own teeny tiny smile machine! Expect to shell out between 10-15 bucks.. that's a tiny investment for guaranteed hours of fun. Moreover, bargaining with the staff is always a good idea - throw in some of the bike mumbo jumbo you may have picked up along the way to talk 'em down!
Just remember, if buying a bike for this race, maximum wheel size is 18 inches! Look on the side wall of the bike's tire to find the wheel size (it should say something like 16 X 1 3/4 - in this case indicating that the wheels are 16 inches).

Don't want to put the cash into buying a mini bike? Well then, we'll try and lend you one! Pre-register for the race by emailing midnightsimon))at((gmail.com, and we'll match you with a mini before race day.

So that's it kids. The gauntlet has been thrown down, the challenge issued. Come show us you've got what it takes to elevate Vancouver to new levels of aburdity and fun. I know you do. Check back here regularly for updates - much more is in the works! (hint - most of it involves getting one's party on)